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Are "Plus Ones" Really Mandatory For Weddings?

Any fan of Sex and the City will remember all the events that the ladies attended with their "plus ones". This is another way of saying "and guest", and it refers to the un-named companion that an invited guest brings to an event. A dilemma that many brides confront is whether it is really mandatory to include a plus one on their wedding invitations.

The answer to the plus one issue, is a firm no. You are not obliged to invite your guests to bring a guest. After all, who do you really want to have at your wedding - your closest friends and family, or a room that is half full of people you have never met before? Weddings are expensive enough, without increasing your guest list to accommodate strangers. With all of the money that you save, you can so something meaningful, like get special gifts of jewelry for each bridesmaid. Spending your wedding budget on something personal, like bridesmaid jewelry gifts, is going to be more meaningful in the long run.

If you decide not to add "and guest" to your wedding invitations, however, there are several things to keep in mind. Married or engaged couples are always invited as a pair. The same is true of couples who are living together. The proper way to address the invitation is to "Mr. And Mrs. William James" for a married couple, or to "Miss (or Ms.) Sarah Johnson" on the first line, and "Mr. Andrew Franklin" on the second line.

From there, you can use some discretion. If your cousin Sally has been dating the same man for the last five years, then it would be entirely appropriate to treat them as a social unit, and to invite them both. Do not, however, send out an invitation to "Sally Maguire and guest" - take the time to find out her beau's name, and use it on the invitation. It is much more personal and gracious.

Choosing to invite serious boyfriends or girlfriends does not mean that you have to invite your brother's fling of the week. Anyone who is involved in a casual relationship can be treated as single, as far as the invitations are concerned (which is not to imply that you should try to fix them up with someone else at the wedding!). Put only the name of the invitee on the invitation, and be prepared to stand firm if someone asks to bring a plus one. It is perfectly acceptable to say that you are unable to fit any additional seats into the reception venue.

Speaking of seating, have some sensitivity when seating the singles at your wedding. At almost every reception, there is a table filled with an odd assortment of left-over guests stuck in the back corner by the kitchen entrance. Don't put your good friends into social Siberia just because they are single! A better solution is to mix your single friends in among other guests that they know, or ones that you think they would enjoy getting to know. The most comfortable way to do this is to mix in a few single guests with a few couples so that the tables are well balanced.

With all this said, if you have the space and budget to accommodate a gaggle of plus ones, by all means, send your wedding invitations to the recipient plus a guest. Just be sure that when they R.s.v.p. to find out the name of the guest so that they can have their own placecard. After all, if you will be hosting someone at your wedding, you want to make sure that they feel welcome, not like a tag-along.

Laura helps brides with their wedding plans by offering advice on selecting bridesmaids gifts,reception ideas and other aspects of planning a wedding. Bridesmaid jewelry gifts are a very thoughtful way to show your appreciation for your friends.

NAVIGATION

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